The Importance of An Open Window

I have been in on bedrest for almost 3 weeks now and been in this hospital without seeing the other side (of my door) for almost 2 weeks. The days are starting to run together but I do write down my nurses, my doctors, and my visitors everyday so at least there are some seperations. I had my first break down on Monday...it only lasted about 5 minutes, but I really needed to just let my emotions and frustrations out. My parents thought I was crying because they were late bringing me dinner and I was hungery (so silly), but I had to explain to them that it was because I feel so detached from the outside world (besides, I have plenty of food in my room).

I am usually a happy person, but I understand the importance of letting my emotions out rather than keeping it bottled. I also think it's important to acknowledge the situation I am in and be realistic about what being couped up in a room for two weeks will do to my psyche. However, I am good at shedding my brave side for 5 minutes, letting the tears out, and feeling much better afterwards instead of dwelling in my own sorrow (I think this is a gift).

After having a good cry for 5 minutes, I wiped away my tears and moved on to eating dinner. John asked if I wanted to have my window opened (I didn't even know that was an option since in my last room the window was locked!). I said if that's possible I would love to hear the noises from the other side of the world! He does, and the sounds of car engines and people moving about in the distance was like music to my ears. Funny how we take those things for granted when they happen every day. I even enjoyed listening to cars honking at each other and car alarms going off from one of the parking lots.

The babies are getting scanned tomorrow. Hopefully, if all goes well, I might be able to get 30 minutes of wheel chair time to go outside and breathe some fresh air.