We found out yesterday that our c-section is confirmed for July 11 at 4:30pm. July 11th is also John's birthday...so happy birthday to John and our boys! As I lay in my bed, enjoying the last night of my pregnancy...and yes, even with all the bedrest and the uncomfortable moments, I love being pregnant...so many thoughts and emotions are running through my mind and my skin is the only thing that's keeping me from going everywhere at once.
Besides the obvious anticipation to go under the knife (first surgery, EVER), there are definitely concerns about our baby boys' overall health. Luckily, we've been able to keep them in until almost 37 weeks (who knew when I first checked in to the hospital for bedrest at 25 1/2 weeks that I was going to last this long). Besides the babies' health and my recovery from c-section, I can't help but think about how much different our lives are going to be once we get them home. All the sleepless nights and the joy of learning to breastfeed. We were able to find a live-in nanny who will be with us 6 days a week, so that should alliviated some of my concerns. Other then that, I guess my biggest fear is letting them down. John and I were enjoying a quiet dinner together last night without my parents. As I was explaining to John that I made a medical record binder for the boys, I was overcome with emotions. When I shared my feelings with him, he told me that all we can do is try our best and we will not be perfect parents. I felt much better after hearing him say that. Not that I'm an overacheiver, but I don't want to fail as a parent. But having a supportive husband who I can share my insecurities with and who is okay with us making mistakes as we move into parenthood feels pretty darn great.
I also thought of the things I will miss the most about being pregnant. First and foremost, I am going to miss having the boys inside, moving and kicking. Carrying another life (in my case, two lives), has been the most amazing journey. This journey was worth every second of sacrifice. And every moment of it is worth remembering:
Finding out we were pregnant (but didn't want to get our hopes up because of our miscarriage last year).
Miscarriage scare because of heavy bleeding.
Finding out we still had a baby and seeing the heartbeat for the first time.
Finding out we are actually having twins and seeing both of their heartbeats!!
Seeing them growing from little embryos to little fetuses (or is it feti?).
Seeing them starting to move for the first time.
Seeing them turning in my womb for the first time.
Going to the perinatalogist for the first time and seeing them up close and personal.
Hearing the heartbeat for the first time.
Finding out that one of them has an above average nuchal translucency measurement and wondered if that baby has chromosomal problems.
Feeling the babies move for the first time...kinda like a flutter...
Shopping for maternity clothes.
Finding out that they are both boys!!!!!!!
Getting the amniosynthesis to further test their chromosomes.
Getting cleared to do light exercise (yay for pregnancy pilates and swimming!)
Feeling more distinct baby movement.
Felt the first kick!
Found out that both boys are HEALTHY!!! YAY!!!
Saw babies kick...looked like aliens trying to break out of my tummy!
Named our boys...Andrew and Nathan:)
Received a baby crib from our friend.
Bought a baby mattress.
First Heartburn...yuck!
Ordered to go to the hospital for observations because of shortened cervix and postive FFN :(
Came home for a couple of days to do bedrest at home :)
Had to go back to the hospital, again...and this time stayed for a month :(
Having my mom give me my progesterone shots...she is GOOD!
Was released to come home for bedrest at 30 weeks...YAY!!!
Baby shower...absolutely amazing!
Maternity photoshoot...gorgeous pictures.
Celebrated our 4 year anniversary...last time we will be without children.
John's good at giving me progesterone shots too!!
Can't believe we've made it to 34 weeks!!!
Can't believe we've made it to 35 weeks!!!
Dr. Lee called to schedule C-section for 7/12...when I turn 37 weeks. Wow...can't believe the end is near.
Talked to John and he really wants the boys to have his birthday...tried to reschedule for the 11th.
Getting a minivan...who would have thought I'd ever own a minivan...but parenthood calls for all things that are convenient!
Coming up with the boys Chinese names.
Laying low for 4th of July weekend since Dr. Lee is in Vegas. Don't want to pop just yet.
Went driving and running errands by myself in more than 2 months. SO miss my independence (took the van too...loving it!)
Confirmation of our c-section on 7/11...Happy Birthday to all my boys :)
Gotta lay low again...don't want to make it all the way to 7/10 and pop right before John's birthday...haha.
Can't believe it's coming up. Is the clock working??? Why is it going so slow???
Well, this is it for now. I'll post more when the boys are out :) Wish me luck tomorrow :)
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1 comment:
Oh Betty.. you are worrying for all the wrong reasons. you will be a wonderful mom to Andrew and Nathan. Your trepidation is good, because it means you really care. I have so much faith that you will be wonderful! And you've wonderful friends who would LOVE to babysit!
HUGS!
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