We found out yesterday that our c-section is confirmed for July 11 at 4:30pm. July 11th is also John's birthday...so happy birthday to John and our boys! As I lay in my bed, enjoying the last night of my pregnancy...and yes, even with all the bedrest and the uncomfortable moments, I love being pregnant...so many thoughts and emotions are running through my mind and my skin is the only thing that's keeping me from going everywhere at once.
Besides the obvious anticipation to go under the knife (first surgery, EVER), there are definitely concerns about our baby boys' overall health. Luckily, we've been able to keep them in until almost 37 weeks (who knew when I first checked in to the hospital for bedrest at 25 1/2 weeks that I was going to last this long). Besides the babies' health and my recovery from c-section, I can't help but think about how much different our lives are going to be once we get them home. All the sleepless nights and the joy of learning to breastfeed. We were able to find a live-in nanny who will be with us 6 days a week, so that should alliviated some of my concerns. Other then that, I guess my biggest fear is letting them down. John and I were enjoying a quiet dinner together last night without my parents. As I was explaining to John that I made a medical record binder for the boys, I was overcome with emotions. When I shared my feelings with him, he told me that all we can do is try our best and we will not be perfect parents. I felt much better after hearing him say that. Not that I'm an overacheiver, but I don't want to fail as a parent. But having a supportive husband who I can share my insecurities with and who is okay with us making mistakes as we move into parenthood feels pretty darn great.
I also thought of the things I will miss the most about being pregnant. First and foremost, I am going to miss having the boys inside, moving and kicking. Carrying another life (in my case, two lives), has been the most amazing journey. This journey was worth every second of sacrifice. And every moment of it is worth remembering:
Finding out we were pregnant (but didn't want to get our hopes up because of our miscarriage last year).
Miscarriage scare because of heavy bleeding.
Finding out we still had a baby and seeing the heartbeat for the first time.
Finding out we are actually having twins and seeing both of their heartbeats!!
Seeing them growing from little embryos to little fetuses (or is it feti?).
Seeing them starting to move for the first time.
Seeing them turning in my womb for the first time.
Going to the perinatalogist for the first time and seeing them up close and personal.
Hearing the heartbeat for the first time.
Finding out that one of them has an above average nuchal translucency measurement and wondered if that baby has chromosomal problems.
Feeling the babies move for the first time...kinda like a flutter...
Shopping for maternity clothes.
Finding out that they are both boys!!!!!!!
Getting the amniosynthesis to further test their chromosomes.
Getting cleared to do light exercise (yay for pregnancy pilates and swimming!)
Feeling more distinct baby movement.
Felt the first kick!
Found out that both boys are HEALTHY!!! YAY!!!
Saw babies kick...looked like aliens trying to break out of my tummy!
Named our boys...Andrew and Nathan:)
Received a baby crib from our friend.
Bought a baby mattress.
First Heartburn...yuck!
Ordered to go to the hospital for observations because of shortened cervix and postive FFN :(
Came home for a couple of days to do bedrest at home :)
Had to go back to the hospital, again...and this time stayed for a month :(
Having my mom give me my progesterone shots...she is GOOD!
Was released to come home for bedrest at 30 weeks...YAY!!!
Baby shower...absolutely amazing!
Maternity photoshoot...gorgeous pictures.
Celebrated our 4 year anniversary...last time we will be without children.
John's good at giving me progesterone shots too!!
Can't believe we've made it to 34 weeks!!!
Can't believe we've made it to 35 weeks!!!
Dr. Lee called to schedule C-section for 7/12...when I turn 37 weeks. Wow...can't believe the end is near.
Talked to John and he really wants the boys to have his birthday...tried to reschedule for the 11th.
Getting a minivan...who would have thought I'd ever own a minivan...but parenthood calls for all things that are convenient!
Coming up with the boys Chinese names.
Laying low for 4th of July weekend since Dr. Lee is in Vegas. Don't want to pop just yet.
Went driving and running errands by myself in more than 2 months. SO miss my independence (took the van too...loving it!)
Confirmation of our c-section on 7/11...Happy Birthday to all my boys :)
Gotta lay low again...don't want to make it all the way to 7/10 and pop right before John's birthday...haha.
Can't believe it's coming up. Is the clock working??? Why is it going so slow???
Well, this is it for now. I'll post more when the boys are out :) Wish me luck tomorrow :)
Thursday, July 10, 2008
Friday, May 23, 2008
Apprehension
Tomorrow is a big day! I get to have another cervical length exam and if all is well (the length hasn't shortened more), I get to go home! The thing is, I can't decide how I feel about this whole situation. Probably 35% excitement and 65% apprehension.
After being here for almost 4 weeks, I feel comfortable and safe here. If anything were to happen to me or the babies, I know that the nurses and the doctors are right here to help us. I get 3 meals a day, and 3 snacks a day if I desire. I get to hear the babies' heartbeat twice a day and get monitored for contractions if I feel my uterus tightening. At home I get the comfort of home cooked meals, my visitors wouldn't have to come ALL THE WAY to Cedars to visit me, and the coziness of sleeping in my own bed with my husband. The problem is, I kind of enjoy the isolation at the hospital (don't get me wrong, I am very outgoing, but when my parents are here with my sister...the excitement is just too much to handle sometimes). Also, the people that come in and out of my room here are all professionals, whether they are nurses, food service, or housekeepers. Being at home and being waited on (by my parents) would probably get more complicated because it would be all personal...and if I don't feel like eating something, my mom may get offended and I would feel bad. Oh well, we'll see how it goes :)
After being here for almost 4 weeks, I feel comfortable and safe here. If anything were to happen to me or the babies, I know that the nurses and the doctors are right here to help us. I get 3 meals a day, and 3 snacks a day if I desire. I get to hear the babies' heartbeat twice a day and get monitored for contractions if I feel my uterus tightening. At home I get the comfort of home cooked meals, my visitors wouldn't have to come ALL THE WAY to Cedars to visit me, and the coziness of sleeping in my own bed with my husband. The problem is, I kind of enjoy the isolation at the hospital (don't get me wrong, I am very outgoing, but when my parents are here with my sister...the excitement is just too much to handle sometimes). Also, the people that come in and out of my room here are all professionals, whether they are nurses, food service, or housekeepers. Being at home and being waited on (by my parents) would probably get more complicated because it would be all personal...and if I don't feel like eating something, my mom may get offended and I would feel bad. Oh well, we'll see how it goes :)
Thursday, May 15, 2008
Wide Open Spaces
I went outside today. My OB said that since the babies are growing so well (and my cervix hasn't changed), I can go outside for 30 minutes a day to get some sun. This is very exciting news!!
The first trip was accompanied by my parents. My clinical partner brought me my wheel chair and I stepped outside of my room for the first time in over 2 weeks. Being in the wheel chair was quite strange since I've never been in one before. I also felt a little out of control because I am pretty much at the mercy of whoever's pushing me. But off we went, pass the nurses' station, pass the room with all the monitors, pass the double doors of the maternity ward, pass the waiting room, and into the elevator. The free fall motion of the elevator was strange too. Probably because I've been laying on my bed for so long...any motion besides laying down felt strange to me. We went down one floor, snaked through another waiting area, and exited the double door of the building.
Brightness. Blinding brightness. Warmth from the sunshine. People hurrying to go places. The trees, the flowers, the metal benches, the statues...there were so much to see. I'm feeling a bit anxious. It's strange how even being couped up for a little over 3 weeks can have such a profound effect on how I view the outside world. I kept looking at my cellphone to remind myself of the time. Not that I was wanting to make sure that I get back to my room without delay, but almost wondering how much longer until I go back to the safety of my confined space. My feeling shocked me. A couple of days ago, I was gently twisting my doctor's arm to get wheel chair priviledges...and now that I'm out, I feel like Morgan Freeman from Shawshank Redemption when he was finally let out to join the civilian world...I felt LOST!
To be okay with being "trapped" in my hospital room meant having to adjust to the lack of freedom, like giving up the thought of going outside and being okay with only finding things to do on the inside. Once that threshold is crossed, I found it much easier to be laying on the bed and letting the time pass by. Being on the inside meant leading a passive life instead of a proactive one. But once that threshold IS crossed, going back to the other side might be just as hard as coming over to this side. It might take me a couple of trips in the wheel chair to get used to going outside again. However, there's nothing like feeling the wind blow through my hair and the sun shining on my face.
The first trip was accompanied by my parents. My clinical partner brought me my wheel chair and I stepped outside of my room for the first time in over 2 weeks. Being in the wheel chair was quite strange since I've never been in one before. I also felt a little out of control because I am pretty much at the mercy of whoever's pushing me. But off we went, pass the nurses' station, pass the room with all the monitors, pass the double doors of the maternity ward, pass the waiting room, and into the elevator. The free fall motion of the elevator was strange too. Probably because I've been laying on my bed for so long...any motion besides laying down felt strange to me. We went down one floor, snaked through another waiting area, and exited the double door of the building.
Brightness. Blinding brightness. Warmth from the sunshine. People hurrying to go places. The trees, the flowers, the metal benches, the statues...there were so much to see. I'm feeling a bit anxious. It's strange how even being couped up for a little over 3 weeks can have such a profound effect on how I view the outside world. I kept looking at my cellphone to remind myself of the time. Not that I was wanting to make sure that I get back to my room without delay, but almost wondering how much longer until I go back to the safety of my confined space. My feeling shocked me. A couple of days ago, I was gently twisting my doctor's arm to get wheel chair priviledges...and now that I'm out, I feel like Morgan Freeman from Shawshank Redemption when he was finally let out to join the civilian world...I felt LOST!
To be okay with being "trapped" in my hospital room meant having to adjust to the lack of freedom, like giving up the thought of going outside and being okay with only finding things to do on the inside. Once that threshold is crossed, I found it much easier to be laying on the bed and letting the time pass by. Being on the inside meant leading a passive life instead of a proactive one. But once that threshold IS crossed, going back to the other side might be just as hard as coming over to this side. It might take me a couple of trips in the wheel chair to get used to going outside again. However, there's nothing like feeling the wind blow through my hair and the sun shining on my face.
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
The Morale Booster
The babies got measured today. They are a couple of days shy of 29 weeks. I have seen many ultrasound images of them since they were 5 wks old, but my heart still skips a beat when I see them on the monitor. In the Chinese culture, babies are counted as one year old when they are born. This started, of course, in the pre-ultrasound ages. I do have to say that my ancestors were so smart. I have been in love with my baby boys since I knew that they existed. Yes, they were little alien looking things with little heartbeats, and yes, they might have been smaller than a grain of rice, but my love for them was there non the less.
After being on bedrest for 3 wks, I started to wonder what good all this time spent lying sideways has done for me and the babies. Well, wonder no more. The doctors carefully measured the babies (their head sizes, belly sizes, arm lengths, thigh lengths...etc), and concluded that Baby A is just under 3 pounds and Baby B is just over 3 pounds. 3 POUNDS!!!!! This means they are above average even in the single pregnancy scenario! No wonder my belly looks so huge (which my mom just can't seem to get over...she giggles at the sight of my belly every time I stand up).
This is probably the single best news I have received. It really makes every uncomfortable minute of my sideways stint in the hospital that much more valuable. This really boosted my morale. I think I can go a couple of more rounds if I need to after hearing how well my baby boys are growing. Now if I can only get wheel chair priviledges...
After being on bedrest for 3 wks, I started to wonder what good all this time spent lying sideways has done for me and the babies. Well, wonder no more. The doctors carefully measured the babies (their head sizes, belly sizes, arm lengths, thigh lengths...etc), and concluded that Baby A is just under 3 pounds and Baby B is just over 3 pounds. 3 POUNDS!!!!! This means they are above average even in the single pregnancy scenario! No wonder my belly looks so huge (which my mom just can't seem to get over...she giggles at the sight of my belly every time I stand up).
This is probably the single best news I have received. It really makes every uncomfortable minute of my sideways stint in the hospital that much more valuable. This really boosted my morale. I think I can go a couple of more rounds if I need to after hearing how well my baby boys are growing. Now if I can only get wheel chair priviledges...
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
Things that make me happy
Finding things that make me happy in this confined space is very important for my sanity and also important to make the time go by faster. This list, is not in any particular order...just looking around the room and things that jump out at me:
-Having a TV with a DVD player.
-My board of cards.
-My colorful gift bags that I've been using as decoration to spruce up the room.
-My sister's "Crockagator" magnet that I have on my white board...she had my mom bring it from Taiwan.
-My white board that has the babies' age and count down to 34 wks, which I change at midnight.
-Little messages some of my visitors leave on my white board.
-The fusia colored "Happy Day" (used to be Happy Mother's Day) sign I made with tissue paper from a gift, purple dry ease marker, and my cuticle scissors...took forever, but well worth it.
-Art work from my friend's daughter, Gabby (including cut out of her hands that says I LOVE YOU).
-Teddy Bear, "Huggie", from Gabby. She said so now I will always have a visitor.
-My flowers.
-The fact that my window is open...guess not all the rooms come with windows that open.
-Little step stools my sister-in-law, Bobbie, and her boyfriend, Leo, made for little Andrew and Little Nathan (they are very, very, very cute).
-The new chair John was able to get from "the people outside my room"...now I have 3 chairs!!
-My pillow, silk blanket, and silk slippers from home.
-My laptop, iPod, cellphone, PSP, and phone.
-My green notebook and my green frog pen (Thanks Brenda for the pen!)
-My new note cards :)
-My green 3 pound weights (my physical therapist told me not to use but I can use 1 pound ones) which I've started using as my phone holder.
-My Tummy Honey Butter.
-My DVDs.
-My Tom's Natural Toothpaste.
-My Dove body wash that smells of Cherry Blossom and Almonds.
-My Decleor face wash.
-My clothes from home...so I don't wear the same things day and night...believe it or not, but this is HUGE.
-My books.
-My visitors!!! (not that you guys & gals are things...but just wanted to let you know that I really appreciate you taking your time to come see me)
-Getting IMs, text messages, emails, and phone calls!
-My nurses and doctors.
-Juice cocktail of apple, orange, and cranberry juices :)
-Babies on the Fetal Monitor.
-My mom's home cooking which she packs in this pressure cooker to keep warm and hauls all the way to Cedars from Palos Verdes. YAY MOM!
-My mom's progesterone shots.
-My dad's fruit bowls. Yes, my dad is awesome too...he's always in charge of cutting the fruits :)
-Back rubs!
-John calling me a few times a day, even just to say "hi"!
-John talking to my belly and kissing my belly.
-John crawling in to my little hospital bed with me whenever he's here so we can get some snuggle time.
Yes, I am the person that sees the glass half full. This list turned out to be longer than I thought it would be. Being positive, at least most of time, is one of the most important thing I can do for myself, my babies, and my loved ones.
-Having a TV with a DVD player.
-My board of cards.
-My colorful gift bags that I've been using as decoration to spruce up the room.
-My sister's "Crockagator" magnet that I have on my white board...she had my mom bring it from Taiwan.
-My white board that has the babies' age and count down to 34 wks, which I change at midnight.
-Little messages some of my visitors leave on my white board.
-The fusia colored "Happy Day" (used to be Happy Mother's Day) sign I made with tissue paper from a gift, purple dry ease marker, and my cuticle scissors...took forever, but well worth it.
-Art work from my friend's daughter, Gabby (including cut out of her hands that says I LOVE YOU).
-Teddy Bear, "Huggie", from Gabby. She said so now I will always have a visitor.
-My flowers.
-The fact that my window is open...guess not all the rooms come with windows that open.
-Little step stools my sister-in-law, Bobbie, and her boyfriend, Leo, made for little Andrew and Little Nathan (they are very, very, very cute).
-The new chair John was able to get from "the people outside my room"...now I have 3 chairs!!
-My pillow, silk blanket, and silk slippers from home.
-My laptop, iPod, cellphone, PSP, and phone.
-My green notebook and my green frog pen (Thanks Brenda for the pen!)
-My new note cards :)
-My green 3 pound weights (my physical therapist told me not to use but I can use 1 pound ones) which I've started using as my phone holder.
-My Tummy Honey Butter.
-My DVDs.
-My Tom's Natural Toothpaste.
-My Dove body wash that smells of Cherry Blossom and Almonds.
-My Decleor face wash.
-My clothes from home...so I don't wear the same things day and night...believe it or not, but this is HUGE.
-My books.
-My visitors!!! (not that you guys & gals are things...but just wanted to let you know that I really appreciate you taking your time to come see me)
-Getting IMs, text messages, emails, and phone calls!
-My nurses and doctors.
-Juice cocktail of apple, orange, and cranberry juices :)
-Babies on the Fetal Monitor.
-My mom's home cooking which she packs in this pressure cooker to keep warm and hauls all the way to Cedars from Palos Verdes. YAY MOM!
-My mom's progesterone shots.
-My dad's fruit bowls. Yes, my dad is awesome too...he's always in charge of cutting the fruits :)
-Back rubs!
-John calling me a few times a day, even just to say "hi"!
-John talking to my belly and kissing my belly.
-John crawling in to my little hospital bed with me whenever he's here so we can get some snuggle time.
Yes, I am the person that sees the glass half full. This list turned out to be longer than I thought it would be. Being positive, at least most of time, is one of the most important thing I can do for myself, my babies, and my loved ones.
Monday, May 12, 2008
The Importance of An Open Window
I have been in on bedrest for almost 3 weeks now and been in this hospital without seeing the other side (of my door) for almost 2 weeks. The days are starting to run together but I do write down my nurses, my doctors, and my visitors everyday so at least there are some seperations. I had my first break down on Monday...it only lasted about 5 minutes, but I really needed to just let my emotions and frustrations out. My parents thought I was crying because they were late bringing me dinner and I was hungery (so silly), but I had to explain to them that it was because I feel so detached from the outside world (besides, I have plenty of food in my room).
I am usually a happy person, but I understand the importance of letting my emotions out rather than keeping it bottled. I also think it's important to acknowledge the situation I am in and be realistic about what being couped up in a room for two weeks will do to my psyche. However, I am good at shedding my brave side for 5 minutes, letting the tears out, and feeling much better afterwards instead of dwelling in my own sorrow (I think this is a gift).
After having a good cry for 5 minutes, I wiped away my tears and moved on to eating dinner. John asked if I wanted to have my window opened (I didn't even know that was an option since in my last room the window was locked!). I said if that's possible I would love to hear the noises from the other side of the world! He does, and the sounds of car engines and people moving about in the distance was like music to my ears. Funny how we take those things for granted when they happen every day. I even enjoyed listening to cars honking at each other and car alarms going off from one of the parking lots.
The babies are getting scanned tomorrow. Hopefully, if all goes well, I might be able to get 30 minutes of wheel chair time to go outside and breathe some fresh air.
I am usually a happy person, but I understand the importance of letting my emotions out rather than keeping it bottled. I also think it's important to acknowledge the situation I am in and be realistic about what being couped up in a room for two weeks will do to my psyche. However, I am good at shedding my brave side for 5 minutes, letting the tears out, and feeling much better afterwards instead of dwelling in my own sorrow (I think this is a gift).
After having a good cry for 5 minutes, I wiped away my tears and moved on to eating dinner. John asked if I wanted to have my window opened (I didn't even know that was an option since in my last room the window was locked!). I said if that's possible I would love to hear the noises from the other side of the world! He does, and the sounds of car engines and people moving about in the distance was like music to my ears. Funny how we take those things for granted when they happen every day. I even enjoyed listening to cars honking at each other and car alarms going off from one of the parking lots.
The babies are getting scanned tomorrow. Hopefully, if all goes well, I might be able to get 30 minutes of wheel chair time to go outside and breathe some fresh air.
Sunday, May 11, 2008
Happy MAMA Day!
This is a short blog. Just reflecting on the fact that this is the last mother's day that I am not a mom (with children outside my womb, that is). Once a mom, always a mom. Can't wait to meet my babies!
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
Motherhood...
Mothers make everything better. As the day of my impending motherhood draws closer, I feel a pride, like never before, about the role I will play in two innocent little lives and how I will find a way to make everything better for them. As it is, with being on bedrest, I am already trying to make their lives better. And the love I have for these little ones that are still in my womb (head budding my bladder) is so overwhelming sometimes that I'm not sure how I can love them even more when they come out.
My mom flew back from Taiwan on Saturday and got in at 8:36pm. John went to pick her up and came straight to the hospital to see me. Seeing her here was very emotional for me. Here my mom was, taking care of me, who's about to become a mother. For the first time since I checked in the hospital, I cried (only for a little bit though...I was so happy to see her). She, although jet lagged, decided to give me a leg massage. Being that I've been laying in bed for almost 10 straight days, the massage felt extra special. No matter how old I get, I know I will always be her baby, and she will always be here when I need her. I am lucky to be able to share this moment with her and am lucky also have my own babies to love.
P.S. My mom, who used to be a labor & delivery / Operation Room / Anesthisia nurse, gave me my progeterone shot on Wednesday. The shot is oil based and hard to push into the muscles. I've read countless women posting that it hurts like crazy. I've received one from the nurse and didn't think it was too bad (but I am also NOT afraid of needles and donate blood on a regular basis). When it came time to do the shot, I really wanted to see just how good my mom is still (she's been out of practice for 2 decades now). So...mom prepared the shot, cleaned the skin and stretched the injection site between her fingers (that, so she said, is the trick of having a painless injection), tells me that it's gonna hurt a little...I'm waiting, waiting, waiting...then she said she's done. I was like WHAT?? I didn't feel a thing!! What a mom!! She definitely exceeded my expectations. She should teach a class on injections!
My mom flew back from Taiwan on Saturday and got in at 8:36pm. John went to pick her up and came straight to the hospital to see me. Seeing her here was very emotional for me. Here my mom was, taking care of me, who's about to become a mother. For the first time since I checked in the hospital, I cried (only for a little bit though...I was so happy to see her). She, although jet lagged, decided to give me a leg massage. Being that I've been laying in bed for almost 10 straight days, the massage felt extra special. No matter how old I get, I know I will always be her baby, and she will always be here when I need her. I am lucky to be able to share this moment with her and am lucky also have my own babies to love.
P.S. My mom, who used to be a labor & delivery / Operation Room / Anesthisia nurse, gave me my progeterone shot on Wednesday. The shot is oil based and hard to push into the muscles. I've read countless women posting that it hurts like crazy. I've received one from the nurse and didn't think it was too bad (but I am also NOT afraid of needles and donate blood on a regular basis). When it came time to do the shot, I really wanted to see just how good my mom is still (she's been out of practice for 2 decades now). So...mom prepared the shot, cleaned the skin and stretched the injection site between her fingers (that, so she said, is the trick of having a painless injection), tells me that it's gonna hurt a little...I'm waiting, waiting, waiting...then she said she's done. I was like WHAT?? I didn't feel a thing!! What a mom!! She definitely exceeded my expectations. She should teach a class on injections!
Monday, May 5, 2008
Elisa's random poem or just randomness, in general
So I get on Skype and my webcam to chat with my sister almost everyday. She keeps me entertained (thanks sis!!) for a good hour or 2... Well, since she's in Taiwan, she is 15 hrs ahead, and when I do chat with her, it's usually 2 or 3 in the morning there. In today's case, we were on Skype until about 5:30am her time. And I think she was starting to get a little delirious from lack of sleep... We were talking about shit hitting the fan, so she came up with this little poem. Gotta love her.
shits and reindeers
by Elisa Lin
where's the sky that was once clear
i can't see where i should steer
i used to be the commandeer
but can't find my landing gear
maybe i just need an ice cold beer
to stop feeling so wierd
wait i don't even drink beer
it won't erase my fears
maybe i should find a guy with a beard
who rides purple reindeers
holy wait is that santa claus?!
man i've had too many beers
walking way out on the pier
i see him from the rear
why is he holding a big ol' spear
perhaps he needs a new career
maybe a spokesperson for cheer
maybe a cavelier
or even better an engineer
who makes shit disappear!
he'll be the man of the year
problems no longer severe
so when the horrid fan is near
i'll have nothing to fear!
After writing her poem, she phonetically used Chinese characters to write out Josh Groban's "You Raise Me Up" I couldn't stop laughing...it was hilarious (she even did it to the word "biotch", and yes, I know that word is NOT in Josh Groban's "You Raise Me Up"). Holy cow, it almost made me pee in my pants/ break my water....Gotta love her!
shits and reindeers
by Elisa Lin
where's the sky that was once clear
i can't see where i should steer
i used to be the commandeer
but can't find my landing gear
maybe i just need an ice cold beer
to stop feeling so wierd
wait i don't even drink beer
it won't erase my fears
maybe i should find a guy with a beard
who rides purple reindeers
holy wait is that santa claus?!
man i've had too many beers
walking way out on the pier
i see him from the rear
why is he holding a big ol' spear
perhaps he needs a new career
maybe a spokesperson for cheer
maybe a cavelier
or even better an engineer
who makes shit disappear!
he'll be the man of the year
problems no longer severe
so when the horrid fan is near
i'll have nothing to fear!
After writing her poem, she phonetically used Chinese characters to write out Josh Groban's "You Raise Me Up" I couldn't stop laughing...it was hilarious (she even did it to the word "biotch", and yes, I know that word is NOT in Josh Groban's "You Raise Me Up"). Holy cow, it almost made me pee in my pants/ break my water....Gotta love her!
Friday, May 2, 2008
Simple things entertain simple...
When life happens only between the walls of a 10ft by 20ft pastel colored room with a simple 3/4 bath, entertaining oneself becomes as essential as it is a highly creative process...or should I say "finding" things to entertain oneself with becomes a very creative process.
It's simple, really. There are 24 hrs. a day...and there are certain things that I know for sure happens during the day at a certain time. So the only times I have to fill are the in between moments.
Between 5:30 and 6:30am, a resident comes in to do her rounds. She checks on my contraction record for the night, listens to my heart and lungs, ask if I have any questions, then wishes me to have a good day. Sometimes around 7:30am, the night nurse and the day nurse switch shifts...so before that happens, the night nurse comes in to bid me farewell (not all the nurses do this, especially since most of us bedrest mommies are still sleeping). About 7:45, breakfast is served. Now, meal times can be entertaining. I pretty much know what I am getting to eat since the hospitality people comes in the day before to take orders for the next day. What gets fun, though, is to figure out how to drag the eating process out longer. It often involves cutting things up into little pieces, arranging the combination of foods on the plate (playing with food is therapeutic...who knew!!), and taking extra time chewing, which is a good thing in itself. Creative eating usually lasts me about 1hr. Shortly after breakfast, the day nurse comes in to say hi, puts her information on my white board, and takes my vitals. She comes back at 10, when I get my meds (okay, don't get excited...I get calcium pills, Zantac 150mg, and Colace...not any mood altering happy pills), to monitor the babies' hearbeats. I love this time. Since there are two babies in there, the nurse places 2 fetal heart monitor on my belly. Baby A (the one on the bottom) is usually pretty cooperative since he is stuck down by my pelvis. Usually the nurse takes no time to find his little heartbeat. Baby B (the one on the top), however, has more room to move around, having him settle down enough to get a consistent heart monitor is a little more tricky. He also dislikes the pressure from the monitors, so he tries to bump it away (which, of course, he can't do). So in addition to his heartbeats, we hear loud thumps a lot. So fun. The nurse usually leaves the monitors on for 1 hr, but would have to come back and check up on the babies often because they are so active and we often would lose the connections. When the babies are being monitored, since I can't move around much, I get on Skype/webcam to see if my sister, who's in Taiwan, is on there. We talk for about 1 hr. or so about random stuff. If she isn't, I would either watch TV, listen to my iPod, or watch a show on the web (thank you ABC, CBS, & NBC for putting full episodes of my favorite shows on your websites!!). The ultrasound gel that goes on the monitors contains salt so if it's left on my belly for too long, it could cause irritation. So, instead of just wiping it off with a wet cloth, I take a shower which I am so glad I have the priviledge to do. This is the only time I get to really stand on my feet for more than 2 minutes. I look forward to the showers since its pretty much the only time I don't have to spend in bed. Besides, I'm a water baby...can't keep me away from water for too long!! The nurse also changes my sheets at this time. After the shower, I put on my Tummy Honey Butter and lotion and give myself a light leg rub to increase circulation. I wear these air hose thingies around my legs all day that squeeze my legs intermittenly to prevent blood clots from forming.
Lunch time is served around 12:15pm. Like breakfast, I try to eat lunch slowly. For the rest of the afternoon, I get on the internet for some online browsing, reading, and working on my blog. Internet time is sometimes pleasantly interrupted by phone calls, text messages, IMs, or visits from friend and family. Afternoons are more free form since the day nurse had done what she needs to do and night nurse doesn't get in until 7:30. I sometimes take a short nap in the afternoon just before dinner if nobody's visiting.
Dinner is served around 5:45pm. During dinner I try to find sometime to watch on TV, and, of course, play with my food and chew a lot. John usually gets here around dinner time and spend some time with me. If he's here, he'll pop in a DVD and we watch the DVD with a couple of interruptions. At 8ish, after the nurses change shifts, my night nurse comes in to say hi and puts her info on the white board. She puts the babies on the monitors which sometimes takes much longer then the day nurse since the babies are more active during the evenings. The nurse leaves and we continue with our DVD. The babies move and the monitors can't get their heartbeats so the nurse would come back. We pause the DVD. The nurse finds the babies again, and leave, we finish watching the DVD. The nurse unhooks all the babies monitors and leaves. At 10pm, the nurse brings me my night meds and makes sure I have enough drinking water to last me throughout the night. She tells me good night (even though she comes in the room in the middle of the night to make sure my machine's doing it's job, monitoring my contractions). John leaves sometimes after that, but calls me to say good night before he goes to sleep. Then I watch my webisodes until I fall asleep.
The next morning, it starts all over again. Yay!!
It's simple, really. There are 24 hrs. a day...and there are certain things that I know for sure happens during the day at a certain time. So the only times I have to fill are the in between moments.
Between 5:30 and 6:30am, a resident comes in to do her rounds. She checks on my contraction record for the night, listens to my heart and lungs, ask if I have any questions, then wishes me to have a good day. Sometimes around 7:30am, the night nurse and the day nurse switch shifts...so before that happens, the night nurse comes in to bid me farewell (not all the nurses do this, especially since most of us bedrest mommies are still sleeping). About 7:45, breakfast is served. Now, meal times can be entertaining. I pretty much know what I am getting to eat since the hospitality people comes in the day before to take orders for the next day. What gets fun, though, is to figure out how to drag the eating process out longer. It often involves cutting things up into little pieces, arranging the combination of foods on the plate (playing with food is therapeutic...who knew!!), and taking extra time chewing, which is a good thing in itself. Creative eating usually lasts me about 1hr. Shortly after breakfast, the day nurse comes in to say hi, puts her information on my white board, and takes my vitals. She comes back at 10, when I get my meds (okay, don't get excited...I get calcium pills, Zantac 150mg, and Colace...not any mood altering happy pills), to monitor the babies' hearbeats. I love this time. Since there are two babies in there, the nurse places 2 fetal heart monitor on my belly. Baby A (the one on the bottom) is usually pretty cooperative since he is stuck down by my pelvis. Usually the nurse takes no time to find his little heartbeat. Baby B (the one on the top), however, has more room to move around, having him settle down enough to get a consistent heart monitor is a little more tricky. He also dislikes the pressure from the monitors, so he tries to bump it away (which, of course, he can't do). So in addition to his heartbeats, we hear loud thumps a lot. So fun. The nurse usually leaves the monitors on for 1 hr, but would have to come back and check up on the babies often because they are so active and we often would lose the connections. When the babies are being monitored, since I can't move around much, I get on Skype/webcam to see if my sister, who's in Taiwan, is on there. We talk for about 1 hr. or so about random stuff. If she isn't, I would either watch TV, listen to my iPod, or watch a show on the web (thank you ABC, CBS, & NBC for putting full episodes of my favorite shows on your websites!!). The ultrasound gel that goes on the monitors contains salt so if it's left on my belly for too long, it could cause irritation. So, instead of just wiping it off with a wet cloth, I take a shower which I am so glad I have the priviledge to do. This is the only time I get to really stand on my feet for more than 2 minutes. I look forward to the showers since its pretty much the only time I don't have to spend in bed. Besides, I'm a water baby...can't keep me away from water for too long!! The nurse also changes my sheets at this time. After the shower, I put on my Tummy Honey Butter and lotion and give myself a light leg rub to increase circulation. I wear these air hose thingies around my legs all day that squeeze my legs intermittenly to prevent blood clots from forming.
Lunch time is served around 12:15pm. Like breakfast, I try to eat lunch slowly. For the rest of the afternoon, I get on the internet for some online browsing, reading, and working on my blog. Internet time is sometimes pleasantly interrupted by phone calls, text messages, IMs, or visits from friend and family. Afternoons are more free form since the day nurse had done what she needs to do and night nurse doesn't get in until 7:30. I sometimes take a short nap in the afternoon just before dinner if nobody's visiting.
Dinner is served around 5:45pm. During dinner I try to find sometime to watch on TV, and, of course, play with my food and chew a lot. John usually gets here around dinner time and spend some time with me. If he's here, he'll pop in a DVD and we watch the DVD with a couple of interruptions. At 8ish, after the nurses change shifts, my night nurse comes in to say hi and puts her info on the white board. She puts the babies on the monitors which sometimes takes much longer then the day nurse since the babies are more active during the evenings. The nurse leaves and we continue with our DVD. The babies move and the monitors can't get their heartbeats so the nurse would come back. We pause the DVD. The nurse finds the babies again, and leave, we finish watching the DVD. The nurse unhooks all the babies monitors and leaves. At 10pm, the nurse brings me my night meds and makes sure I have enough drinking water to last me throughout the night. She tells me good night (even though she comes in the room in the middle of the night to make sure my machine's doing it's job, monitoring my contractions). John leaves sometimes after that, but calls me to say good night before he goes to sleep. Then I watch my webisodes until I fall asleep.
The next morning, it starts all over again. Yay!!
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Hospital Bedrest, Round 2
Whoever coined the term "practice makes perfect" couldn't have described our revisit to the hospital better. We knew where to park, which elevators to take, where to turn, where to register, and even how to get to my room. This time around, my room is on the opposite side of the building, which actually makes me really happy because I get a view of the plaza and there are trees and people all over the place. Guess if I get really bored, I'll be able to count how many people walk by every day or catalog what people are wearing to hospitals these days. I will be here to serve out the remaining of my gestational "time" so I might as well have a good time while I am here at "Hotel Cedars Sinai".
Once I got settled in, John went home to pack a suitcase full of my essentials since we were told to head up here directly from Dr. Lee's office.
Here's a list of my essentials:
Laptop, webcam, and AC Adapter, and DVDs from Blockbuster.com
iPod with docking station
Pillow
Silk Throw from KumiKookoon (so comfy)
Silk Slipper also from KumiKookoon
Cellphone Charger
Crushed Velvet Pajama Pants from Victoria's Secret
Toiletries (that were still in the suit case from my last stay here)
John's white undershirts
Panties from Motherhood Maternity (sorry, maybe this is tmi)
Prenatal Vitamins & DHA supplement
Sports bras
Lounge Socks
Facewash
Shampoo/Conditioner
Baby Wipes
Things that John also brought without me asking:
Snacks
Notebook & Pen
Reading Material
It's hard to imagine what life will be like in here for the next few months. There are questions in my mind that I do not know the answers for...How will I try to enjoy myself? Who will come to visit me? How will John survive without having his wife around him? When will the babies decide to come out? How much is this going to cost us? Will I lose lots of muscles and not be able to care for the babies when they get here? What kind of exercise routine can I do to maintain some sort of strength & flexibility since I will be laying here for 23 hrs a day? Will people come visit me after a month of hospital stay? How is my back going to react to all the non-activity? So many questions that I don't have the answers to. So many unknowns... Oh well, it's easier to just take it one day at a time and see how things turn out. I can only control so much and the rest of it is just not up to me.
Once I got settled in, John went home to pack a suitcase full of my essentials since we were told to head up here directly from Dr. Lee's office.
Here's a list of my essentials:
Laptop, webcam, and AC Adapter, and DVDs from Blockbuster.com
iPod with docking station
Pillow
Silk Throw from KumiKookoon (so comfy)
Silk Slipper also from KumiKookoon
Cellphone Charger
Crushed Velvet Pajama Pants from Victoria's Secret
Toiletries (that were still in the suit case from my last stay here)
John's white undershirts
Panties from Motherhood Maternity (sorry, maybe this is tmi)
Prenatal Vitamins & DHA supplement
Sports bras
Lounge Socks
Facewash
Shampoo/Conditioner
Baby Wipes
Things that John also brought without me asking:
Snacks
Notebook & Pen
Reading Material
It's hard to imagine what life will be like in here for the next few months. There are questions in my mind that I do not know the answers for...How will I try to enjoy myself? Who will come to visit me? How will John survive without having his wife around him? When will the babies decide to come out? How much is this going to cost us? Will I lose lots of muscles and not be able to care for the babies when they get here? What kind of exercise routine can I do to maintain some sort of strength & flexibility since I will be laying here for 23 hrs a day? Will people come visit me after a month of hospital stay? How is my back going to react to all the non-activity? So many questions that I don't have the answers to. So many unknowns... Oh well, it's easier to just take it one day at a time and see how things turn out. I can only control so much and the rest of it is just not up to me.
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Bedrest at home...love letter to John
It's amazing how a wonderful, loving husband can make being stuck in bed, sideways, that much more tolerable.
John and I have been together since December 17, 1999. I've always known I picked a good man to spend the rest of my life with but John always amazes me in my times of need.
After getting home from the hospital, John helped me settled into bed, arranged all my bedrest essentials (laptop, cellphone, house phone, tv remotes, books, magazines) within arms reach and made sure I was comfortable and didn't need anything else. I made a grocery list, so soon after I got comfortable, John went grocery shopping.
Apparently, he bought lots of yummies. Without being able to go see what all he had acquired, I am surprised at the amount of goodies John brings down for me for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. On Sunday, John made me a fruit and kefir smoothie before he went for his morning bicycle ride. After he got back, he made chicken fajita wrap for lunch. For dinner, he went and picked up Quiznos after running some errands. On Monday, he made scrambled egg and cheese sandwich. For lunch, since he was working and couldn't come home, he made me some PB&J sandwiches. For dinner, I had texted John that I was craving steak, mac&cheese, and veggies. After he got home, he came in to say hi to me and the babies in my belly, and disappeared for half an hour. When he came back down, he brought with him...you guessed it...steak, mac&cheese, cream of corn, and pork and beans. Not only did I marry a wonderful husband, he can cook too!! And not only did he make the yummy food, when we ate, he would make me laugh and help keep my spirits up :)
Tuesday morning was a little different. I was to have my glucose tolerance test at 9:30 which meant I couldn't eat any carbs 5 hrs prior to the test. Knowing that, I had requested John to made me some hard boiled eggs since they taste fine cold. So the night before, John boiled a couple and kept them in the fridge. He got up at 5:30 to get ready for his morning bicycle ride. And before he left, he brought me down 3 eggs, that were cooked PERFECT, by the way. I'm glad he brought down 3...since my doctor had to postpone my appointment until 12:30 due to baby deliveries. So I savored John's perfectly cooked eggs, drank some tea, and at 12noon, chugged the Glucola that tasted like slightly flattened orange soda (wasn't bad at all, like I've heard from some people...but after 3 eggs and unsweetened tea, the sugary drink was a nice change).
Dr. Lee remeasured my cervix, which now has shortened to 2.1cm. She told us it didn't look good and we needed to go immediately back to Cedars to check back in... and stay until the babies arrive... ugh... I wish I could have "served" the remaining of my "time" at my own home, but guess being at the hospital with nurses, doctors, and instruments around me would give John a peace of mind. So off we went, back to Cedars, but not before we went through McDonald's..hehe.
Even though my bedrest at home was short, it really showed me that John is just an awesome husband and a terrific dad (to his unborn children). I am so lucky to have the most wonderful man in my life. John knew that my priority was to take care of our babies in my womb and made sure that I didn't have to worry about anything else. I am truly thankful and in love with my dear husband.
Saturday, April 26, 2008
Sideways Betty...
First of all, let me start by explaining why my name is now "Sideways Betty". Last Thursday I went in to my perinatologist to check on the growth of my twin boys whom are due on Aug 2. Everything about the boys looked great. They are healthy, on track, and moving around like always. We were able to get some 4D pictures of one of our boys, he looks just like his daddy :) The other boy was a little shy, facing away from the ultrasound and snuggling up against his brother. Heartwarming images. Now I really can't wait until they are here in our arms. After the ultrasound, the doctor did a Fetal Fibronectin test (if the test is positive, the chance of me delivering in the next 2 weeks is 50%, if negative, less then 1%), and also an exam to measure the length of my cervix. I told him last week, at my OB's office, my cervix measured a little over 3cm...however, today we were down to 2.6cm. Dr. Naylor was a bit concerned and said he will call me after getting the Fetal Fibronectin result back, in the next 2 hrs. If it's positive, we need to get to the hospital.
That night, around 6ish, Dr. Naylor called and said, I hope you're not planning to do anything tonight or tomorrow...you need to get yourself checked into Cedars and have them start monitoring you. WELL, HECK! I broke the news to John (hubby), and started packing. Felt like I was gonna be going on a vacation where they only allow people to wear pajamas...haha. Guess it hasn't kicked in that I'm going to the "HOSPITAL!" How ironic that I had just called the day before to schedule a maternity tour and they put me down for June 8th because my due date is so far away. Well, guess we're now gonna do a "dry run" on our own. Hey, at least we'll know where we need to go when the "WET run" comes!
We got there around 9pm after a food run through McDonalds, checked in with the Labor & Delivery people, then were shown in room 3010. The room was nice...but the decor is...well...pastel. I quickly got settled in, changed into my Victoria's Secret silver crushed velvet pajama pants, a comfy tshirt from Forever21, crawled into bed and waited until the nurse visitations started.
Nurse Ginny strapped 2 fetal monitors (one for each of the boys, to monitor their hearbeats), and 1 contraction monitor to my belly. It was amazing listening to both their heartbeats at the same time...and little louder thuds here and there when they are moving around or trying to kick away the monitors that were pressing down on them. A couple of weeks ago I started playing a game with the babies by saying "All the babies in the womb go woowoo!" Now that the monitors are on I was wondering if they would actually respond to mommy's silly demand. So I played with them again..."All the babies in the womb go woowoo!!"...loud thumps...I guess they heard me. John and I giggle...it was so cute and amazing! I repeated the statement a couple of more times, getting the same loud thumps right afterwards. But they got tired of the game after a little bit. So I figured I'll play with them some other time.
John spent the night by our sides...felt nice to not have to be alone at the hospital for our first night. Although I didn't feel anxious, I was having a hard time falling asleep with all the activities coming in and out of my room. To keep myself entertained, I was able to email my sister, Elisa, who's in Taiwan, via my cell phone. We must have written 5 or 6 emails to each other that night and the next day. I was glad that we have our time difference since it was nice to have her entertain me and also keep my parents informed of what all was going on.
Besides the machine monitoring, I also got some blood drawn, and at 3:20am, Nurse Ginny came in to give me my first steriod shot (of two, given 24 hrs apart). The steriod is to boost the babies' lungs just in case they do arrive too early. This case the doctors and nurses can have a better chance of helping the babies develop normally.
Friday pretty much the same things happened. More monitoring, more nurses and doctors poking their heads in to check up on me. It's reassuring to know that I'm being cared for. My OB, Dr. Lee, came in to see me too. She told me that my cervix will be measured again on Saturday...and until that happens, I am to lay on my left side. Great...now I'm looking forward to Saturday to see if I get to go home and continue this bedrest instead of being at the hospital.
Saturday rolls by...can't believe I've already spent two nights at the hospital. One of the doctors rolled in an Ultrasound machine. With Dr. Lee and Dr. Faroohduddin, Dr. Harris does the ultrasound measurement. Cervix isn't looking too bad. Dr. Lee decides to discharge me and let me go home to continue bedrest in the comfort of my own bed. YAY!
Once we got home, John helped me set everything up in the bed. Laptop, cellphone, tv remote, etc...then I gave him a list for groceries. While I was laying on my left side, my sister, my parents and I were using Skype to talk to each other and webcam to be able to see each other. They got a kick watchinig me laying sideways all the time...so my sister started calling me "Sideways Betty". Gotta love her. Now, to entertain myself, I am calling myself Sideways Betty!
That night, around 6ish, Dr. Naylor called and said, I hope you're not planning to do anything tonight or tomorrow...you need to get yourself checked into Cedars and have them start monitoring you. WELL, HECK! I broke the news to John (hubby), and started packing. Felt like I was gonna be going on a vacation where they only allow people to wear pajamas...haha. Guess it hasn't kicked in that I'm going to the "HOSPITAL!" How ironic that I had just called the day before to schedule a maternity tour and they put me down for June 8th because my due date is so far away. Well, guess we're now gonna do a "dry run" on our own. Hey, at least we'll know where we need to go when the "WET run" comes!
We got there around 9pm after a food run through McDonalds, checked in with the Labor & Delivery people, then were shown in room 3010. The room was nice...but the decor is...well...pastel. I quickly got settled in, changed into my Victoria's Secret silver crushed velvet pajama pants, a comfy tshirt from Forever21, crawled into bed and waited until the nurse visitations started.
Nurse Ginny strapped 2 fetal monitors (one for each of the boys, to monitor their hearbeats), and 1 contraction monitor to my belly. It was amazing listening to both their heartbeats at the same time...and little louder thuds here and there when they are moving around or trying to kick away the monitors that were pressing down on them. A couple of weeks ago I started playing a game with the babies by saying "All the babies in the womb go woowoo!" Now that the monitors are on I was wondering if they would actually respond to mommy's silly demand. So I played with them again..."All the babies in the womb go woowoo!!"...loud thumps...I guess they heard me. John and I giggle...it was so cute and amazing! I repeated the statement a couple of more times, getting the same loud thumps right afterwards. But they got tired of the game after a little bit. So I figured I'll play with them some other time.
John spent the night by our sides...felt nice to not have to be alone at the hospital for our first night. Although I didn't feel anxious, I was having a hard time falling asleep with all the activities coming in and out of my room. To keep myself entertained, I was able to email my sister, Elisa, who's in Taiwan, via my cell phone. We must have written 5 or 6 emails to each other that night and the next day. I was glad that we have our time difference since it was nice to have her entertain me and also keep my parents informed of what all was going on.
Besides the machine monitoring, I also got some blood drawn, and at 3:20am, Nurse Ginny came in to give me my first steriod shot (of two, given 24 hrs apart). The steriod is to boost the babies' lungs just in case they do arrive too early. This case the doctors and nurses can have a better chance of helping the babies develop normally.
Friday pretty much the same things happened. More monitoring, more nurses and doctors poking their heads in to check up on me. It's reassuring to know that I'm being cared for. My OB, Dr. Lee, came in to see me too. She told me that my cervix will be measured again on Saturday...and until that happens, I am to lay on my left side. Great...now I'm looking forward to Saturday to see if I get to go home and continue this bedrest instead of being at the hospital.
Saturday rolls by...can't believe I've already spent two nights at the hospital. One of the doctors rolled in an Ultrasound machine. With Dr. Lee and Dr. Faroohduddin, Dr. Harris does the ultrasound measurement. Cervix isn't looking too bad. Dr. Lee decides to discharge me and let me go home to continue bedrest in the comfort of my own bed. YAY!
Once we got home, John helped me set everything up in the bed. Laptop, cellphone, tv remote, etc...then I gave him a list for groceries. While I was laying on my left side, my sister, my parents and I were using Skype to talk to each other and webcam to be able to see each other. They got a kick watchinig me laying sideways all the time...so my sister started calling me "Sideways Betty". Gotta love her. Now, to entertain myself, I am calling myself Sideways Betty!
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